Sunday, 14 September 2014

...OF SAGES, ASPIRING SAGES, AND A WHIRLWIND

In a Rat Race, the eventual winner is still a Rat. – SirRash (An aspiring Sage or something like that)

Gone are the days when you hear the word Sage and you think of Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, Sun Tsu, Lao Tzu, Awo, Zik, Nkrumah, Bob Marley, Baba Fela, and a few others. Today, Sages have become a dime a dozen, and the most annoying are motivational speakers telling everybody that cares to pay to listen that they could be anything they want to be, thus encouraging people who should be busy taking naps for as long as possible to become motivational speakers (continuing the endless vicious cycle) all opening their mouths or punching their keypads terrorising us with their shallow anecdotes, simplistic soundbites,

and one dimensional ideas. The fad right now is to tell people that paid-employment cannot make them wealthy, that they have to float their own start-ups, which is ironical because if these speakers do know the recipe for wealth, why are they not all wealthy yet? I have always been an advocate of diversity, so I will not want to advocate for throwing all motivational speakers in jail, some of them do make sense most of the time, I would rather look on the bright side, they could have been politicians.

Indubitably, only a few things in this world are ever constant: death, but no one knows when or how it will come; and mathematical formulaes, but only a handful of people understand them. One person’s “Road to Redemption” is another’s “Highway to Hell”; some toil to make ends meet whilesome gets things in abundance without even trying. Yes, we must always aspire to improve and increase (not in size or weight), but we have to understand at the same time that we are an ecosystem because of our diversity. And the foregrounding of wealth over everything else puts the human race at risk because it relegates morality/humanity and promotes greed/soullessness. The fact of life is: we all cannot be wealthy, we all cannot be rich, we cannot alleven be comfortable, some people will still be poor. We will all continue to strive to be better, but we do not own all the aces, and no matter what hands we play, we cannot always win. Knowledge and Intelligence are necessary for social mobility, but these are not even readily available to all at the same rate or price. In reality, Fate, Destiny, Grace, and their other metaphysical kins are factors you cannot totally extricate from our lives. Now I think I am in a whirlwind.


The whirlwind is eerily whirling around and forward at a pace faster than the speed of light, but instead of feeling dizzy and puking all over the place I was actually relaxed and I was even penning the next post for my blog (which is now the Number One Blog in the whole world) and mentally composing tweets to troll self-appointed Twitter warlords and narcissistic underscore-abusing Instagram baes. Then an invisible hand gave me a transparent bag which means I did not have to open it to see that it contains all the high-end gadgets in the world - iPhone 10, Samsung S9, Samsung Note 7, Sony Xperia ZX, Blackberry Z100, iPad Invisible, PS8, Xbox5, Google Brain, etc, and they are all my custom-designed complimentary pieces from the manufacturers as a token of their appreciation of my contribution to the design and development. Then, the whirlwind came to a halt and I saw all the rich people in the world, including a senile Birdman and a grotesque Tunechi (they are known as “Old Money Much Money Gazillionaires - OMMMG), sitting at a table and the seat at the head of the table was unoccupied, and immediately they saw me, they all stood and paid obeisance, obviously, I am the richest man on Earth now. Then a contraption which obviously reads mind wheezed me to the head of the table... Actually, I could go on and on, but I think I have reached a point where I need to stop deluding myself and admit that I have come to the end of my writing tethers for today.

Thank You!
God Bless Us All!!
See You Next Time!!!

Twitter: @SirRash

Facebook: Rasheed SirRash Adewusi
Google+: Rasheed Adewusi

Thursday, 11 September 2014

POSITIVE RAMBLINGS

When last did I do this, I mean actually post on this blog? It is kind of hazy and fuzzy, but I think it was after Arsenal won the FA Cup. When you consider that after that trophy, the Gunners have gone and won another trophy, and my tummy has grown a few centimetres forward again, you will understand it has been a while. However, you cannot really gauge by that protruding tummy reference because my tummy has this uncanny ability to keep growing bigger irrespective of everything I do to arrest the protrusion – Beer (No), Eat after 6pm (No), Eat once a day (Yes), Sit-ups every morning (Yes), yet tummy keeps protruding. I think I might have to accept it as a sign because a Yoruba Sage called K1 the Ultimate (I think that is what he is still known as because Fuji musicians have this confusing habit of changing their names every time they take time out of the hard work of praising themselves at every paid shows to release an album) advised that “only big-bellied people should be trusted with money”, probably it is a sign that God is about to trust me with plenty money, you know that kind of money that gives wings to dreams, because at the moment, the money I have is the one that decapitates nightmares so it can stay forever.

You know I try as much as possible not to depress you when you come here, I am sure you get that opportunity from many places elsewhere, but it is always difficult because this is Nigeria and we are Nigerians, one good news is always escorted by terrible news like that 16-year-old weightlifter who became an overnight hero with a Commonwealth Gold, but by the morning after became a villain testing positive to a PED, not once but twice. This is Nigeria! The over 200 Girls are yet to be brought back, actually, about 100 boys have been kidnapped after. The Ebola Virus has sashayed into the country and it is happily dancing across the nation; and the Federal Government has chosen this opportune moment to sack all Resident Doctors in all Federal Health Institutions across the country. In fairness to the FG, the Resident Doctors have been residing in their respective homes for some time now, the FG only chose to help them officially ratify the decision to stay at home indefinitely, and that is a no-brainer, isn’t it? Well, Club Football is back and it provides a sort of escapism from the drudgery of my daily life as a Nigerian because how else do you describe my obsession with millionaires who complain when they are not given cakes on their birthday or when someone is trying to pay them a paltry £100,000 per week for chasing a round leather around competitively twice a week.


Thankfully, what is a worthwhile form of escapism is the fact that myself and a few other like-minded pals have decided to form a Book Club which we have impeccably named “Vibrant Minds” through which we can read, share ideas and develop our minds. If you love books like us, you are welcome to join the fold. In the same vein, my very close friend, Debayo Coker of the #Pausiblity fame is working on a compilation of short stories and yours truly has been commissioned (I kid, all the proceeds are going to charity) to contribute. In addition, I have been a regular contributor to Suraj Oyewale’s JarusHub, a career and mentorship website. I have shared all these information so that in case I go AWOL again, do not assume it is laziness or procrastination (still battling this though), just believe I have my hands full working to develop my mind, do something good for the less-privileged, and mentor some younger ones; all these while working full-time with an Indian company currently being led by a crop of ex-Nigerian Bottling Company Managers, guys, you have to give it to me, I dey try.

Thank You!
God Bless Us All!!
See You Next Time!!!


Twitter: @SirRash

Facebook: Rasheed SirRash Adewusi
Google+: Rasheed Adewusi

Sunday, 1 June 2014

LETTER TO WENGER 01

Dear Arsene,

It is with joy unbridled and happiness unlimited that I received the news that you have appended your scrawly signature to a new three-year contract, and you will be at the helms of the football affairs of The Arsenal till 2017, and probably beyond, because your style and the vision of Stan Kroenke fit like a mortise to a tenon. I have nurtured the dream of writing you this letter for a very long time, but I needed to be sure you were not ditching the Emirates, because it would be pointless writing to you about a future you had no interest to feature in. As a Gooner for the better part of 16 years, you have been the only Manager I know at my beloved Arsenal, and the thought of another Manager sitting in the front row of the Home Bench at The Emirates still looks hazy to me at the moment.

Actually, I have waited so long to write this letter, but not as long as I have waited to enjoy the kind of feeling I had on Saturday 17th of May when I saw players in Red and White with Victoria Concordia Crescit crested on their badge lifting the FA Cup Trophy aloft in sheer joy and ecstasy. That feeling has been missing for the better part of nine years, and now that it is back, I want it every season like it used to be in the first seven years of my fanship. This is the reason I am writing this open letter to you Le Professeur.
Honestly, Arsenal Football Club will always be grateful to you for what you have done for the Club both on and off the field. You brought your cosmopolitan ways to Arsenal and changed the Club to a consistent contender and a serial winner. Off the field - a new training facility, a new fitness regime, a new diet plan, a lure for continental players, and a new stadium to cap them all were all your ideas. And on the pitch, you ensured the Club remained competitive during years of lean finances despite the infiltration of the English game by filthy money from Russia and later from UAE. Only a fool, like that loquacious creep working for that emotionless Russian Mafioso, will question your position in Club Football. You are one of the few good men remaining in football, but in this age and time, character and attitude off the pitch count for little, only success on the pitch count for much. Moreover, your Legacy, though indubitable in the Arsenal Folklore, will be driven by the Media from the perspective of years of drought; you know bad news is what sells the most.

Objectively, I did understand those periods of lean finances, and unlike that Twitter-follower-whoring, incompetent-at-journalism, BOOM-shouting-only-when-we-score twat, I defended your actions and decisions everywhere I could; but that is now water under the bridge and I want a squad that can stand toe-to-toe with any squad in Europe. At the moment, we have a Very Good Squad but we need at least four more players to turn it into a Great Squad - a competent back-up Goalkeeper, a versatile Centre Back, a Young-Rugged-Skilful Defensive Midfielder, and a Ruthless Striker (an upgrade on Giroud). Let me add that if Vermalaen does leave, we need two Centre Backs considering Sagna, our deendable emergency Centre-Back, will also leave. Being a shrewd spotter of talent, I trust you to buy some known quality or unearth some diamonds in the dirt. Next season, Arsenal will be Challenging, not just Participating, in Four Competitions, therefore, we need a big squad with Depth and Quality. All round quality is what keeps a team together, Fabregas departure to Barcelona was predicated on the dearth of quality in the squad he captained – Almunia in Goal, Senderos at Centre-Back, Song in Central Midfield, and Adebayor as centre Forward - I still get those nightmares occasionally and I tell you, only consistent trophies can fully bring an end to this torture.

In the same vein, a little bit of ruthlessness is needed to have a committed squad. In this age where the average footballer earns far better than Medical Doctors, the least they could do is give consistent committed performances. Any player who could not prove his worth in two seasons should be let go. Being a Father-Figure is all good, but you know not all sons are reliable. Most Professional Footballers are not sons to be groomed and molded into better human beings, they are mercenaries selling their expertise to the highest bidder. They rarely buy into any plan that does not involve them getting hundreds of thousands of Pounds at the end of every week. I know you have hope in human nature, and you believe no one is beyond redemption, but we feel serious hurt when a bumblebee like Song plays well for a season and hurtles off to Barcelona, or the inconsistent Nasri bounced off to Manchester City after a decent half-season, or the sicknote Van Persie ran-off to Manchester United after a fantastic eighteen months which were preceded by six years of being consistently knackered, six years when you always left his space open in the squad to the detriment of the team’s attacking abilities. I know we consider ourselves classy, and we stand by our players in their time of needs, but it is tedious when all we as fans could brag about is Class. Moreover, do players respect Class? Of course, the little boy inside Van Persie does not, neither does the mature hipster inside Alex Song, neither does the mediocre ogre inside Adebayor, nor does the ugly cunt inside Nasri.

On a lighter note, now that you have steered us through the stormy waters of austerity and we have gazillions of cash available to improve the Squad a la all the Partnerships, I hope I can safely assume we will not be seeing signings like the Almunias, the Cygans, the Silvestres, the Andre Santos, the Parks, and the Bendtners who as a butterfly considered himself an eagle; and let me just put it out there, I will buy your autobiography, just solely because I want to know what the signing of Park Chu Young was really all about. As a realist, I know we will not be making signings like Ozil every transfer window, but at least we can add players from the top of the crop or maybe the layer directly below the top, not scraping the base of the bushel as in windows past.

Le Professeur, you lead the famous Gunners with Canons crested on their chests, and we the Gooners have been Loyal (unlike Chris Brown’s Babes), now is the time to bring the Glory Days back! Make the Owners match their Words with Actions! Build a Formidable Squad! Let us bring Victoria Concordia Crescit into play once again! Let The Arsenal become the undisputed Pride of London! Let “Come On You Gunners” not sound hollow and shallow again! Let Trophyless Seasons become Ancient History! And Let Gooners across the Globe regain their Pride of Place in the Court of Bragging Rights!


SirRash (A Gunner to the Bone Marrow)

Thank You!
God Bless Us All!!
See You Next Time!!!


Twitter: @SirRash

Facebook: Rasheed SirRash Adewusi
Google+: Rasheed Adewusi

Sunday, 27 April 2014

CHAOS, ORDER, AND MORE CHAOS.

A discussion with some vast and versed friends has resurrected my thinking about Faith, Hope, and Beliefs. If you are a regular reader of this Blog, you will know I am guilty of overthinking atimes, and this period is one of them. However, rather than focus on religious leanings, I would rather journey through the well-worn road of “Chaos and Order”. From Mathematics, to Physics, Chemistry, Biology, Economics, Accounting, Geography, even English Language, the aim is to discover or create “Order” out of the mass of “Chaos” around. But how well are we doing this? Are we really creating “Order” or creating more “Chaos”? Accepting that some events represent “Order” amidst “Chaos”, is it “reality” or “escapism”? Let me try and exemplify my thinking with some real life experiences.

I heard of a Kwara State indigene based in Kano who relocated back to Ilorin due to the Boko Haram Insurgency. Unfortunately, he was killed by armed robbers a week after getting back to Ilorin. Now someone tell me what order is in the chaos of running away from terrorists’ bombs and getting slayed by armed robbers’ bullets in the space of a week? It is in that vein that I also begin to question the relevance of planning and preparation since there are a whole lot of things we have no control over out there. How do you find order within the chaos, when chaos seems to be the order of the day, Nigeria being a perfect example. To go further, how do the families of those countless civilians who have lost their lives in the Boko Haram insurgency find order within the chaos?

I read every day about commendable progress in Science viz-a-viz medicine, engineering, biotechnology, etc and I also read every day about wars, droughts, famine, mishaps, epidemics, etc. Forms of entertainment everywhere from Sports to Music and Movies; Technology is hailed to be making life easier, but Depression and Suicide is on the rise still. Religious Institutions are growing bigger and growing still but it is still behind immorality, corruption, and crime in growth rate. Every time we make progress in one direction, it is nullified by afflictions from three other directions.

I have one friend, and I know you all have that one friend, that one who gets all your jokes, that one who finishes your sentences, that one always singing the lyrics to the song you are humming in your mind, that one who is as financially buoyant or even more financially than you, that one who is always ready to hang out with you at a short notice, that one who is the life of the party, and also that one who always chooses the exact moment when the waiter brings the bill to your table (not when the bill is called for, not when the bill is being compiled, not when the waiter with the bill is fifty meters away, but the exact moment when the waiter brings the bill to your table) to receive a phone call or leave for the restroom. Now this is not much of a chaos, but it is still chaotic. How do you find the order in this?

Sometimes I just feel creating Order out of the Chaos is nothing but Escapism, that as long as the Earth rotates around the Sun and simultaneously rotate on its own axis, Chaos will continue to be the Order of the day and the quest to create Order within the Chaos is as pointless as the last four letters in the word “Queue”, the first letter in the word “Psychology”, and those two other guys in the musical group “Black Eyed Peas”. But like a great sage who I have never known his/her name said “there is no harm in trying”.

Thank You!
God Bless Us All!!



See You Next Time!!!

Twitter: @SirRash
Facebook: Rasheed SirRash Adewusi


Sunday, 30 March 2014

THE TRIPLE THREAT

Watching the Comedy Central Roast of Donald Trump, the Queen of Mean, Lisa Lampanelli, talking about a fellow roaster Larry King said “in this business, Larry King is known as a Triple Threat because at anytime he could have a heart attack, have a stroke, or shit his pants.” This got me reeling in laughter every time I watch that particular “Roast”; but this is not the case when I think about the triple threat to the future of the youths of this country, I always struggle to keep back the tears. Stark Illiteracy, Drug Abuse, and Legalized Gambling are the triple threat to the future of the Nigerian youth.

Come on guys, you mean you don’t cry every time you read comments on blogs and websites? The youths cannot keep a conversation going without resorting to ethnic mumbo-jumbo and verbal assaults; and these are usually written in English that is at war with the standards of spelling, grammar, or context, you would think the law has been rewritten to allow everyone determine what the rules of spelling, grammar, and context are. Yes, I know English is not our first language, but how many people can even write in their mother-tongue? Please, do not come to me from that angle. Is it not disheartening that we have so many schools, public and private, from the Primary to the University level, and our youths are still stark illiterates? Most of the Youths cannot keep a logical argument going, they cannot draw conclusive deductions or inference, and they do not read. All the guidance we need in this world is in books, but the youths will not read. Imagine my disgust when Achebe died and I came across some youths who had smartphones and had never heard of Chinua Achebe, come on guys Wikipedia and Google should be bookmarked on every youth’s browser for the nation’s future sake. Most of the time when I see this, I ask myself- are these people normal or are they under the influence of some substances? Maybe!

Substance Abuse is also another threat to the future of the Nigerian Youth. Substance abuse has been around from time immemorial, but it has never been this blatant or pervasive from time immemorial. I remember growing up, anyone who smoked hemp was considered a deviant and anyone who is suspected of taking cocaine or heroin is considered a shame to his/her family. Now, these are considered some of the coolest things to do. Not so long ago, taking a hard drug is considered one of the three axes of ignominy, alongside armed robbery and prostitution. Nowadays, substance abuse is considered a fad of maturity. It is hard to believe that cannabis is an illegal drug because you can always see people smoking them everywhere you turn, and our youths are so creative with its use that they boil and drink it like tea, they also spice their food with it. Yet cannabis is not the worst of the drugs that most youths have become dependent on. Benylin with Codeine is a staple drug for some, while some are slaves to painkillers even when they have not lifted a finger at all. Then comes the creative sniffing of petrol/diesel fumes, sniffing of drainage dregs, and the sniffing of cocaine. Come on people, are you not scared?

Now comes in the cankerworm of Legalized Gambling. I used to remember people pointing at other old people who look as if they have wasted their lives and singling out “pool” as the sole reason why they were never-do-wells. Gambling used to be a vice meant for the demon-possessed and the cursed, but now, it is for everyone. From Government-floated gambling medium like “Lagos Lotto”, to private ones like “Baba Ijebu” to the countless sports-based ones like NairaBet, 1960Bet, Bet9ja, SportsBet, MerryBet, and any other Prefix+Bets you can think of. Gambling is in concordance with the average Nigerian love for the get-rich-quick syndrome, and people will tell you that even life itself is a risk and when nothing is ventured, nothing is gained; but not everything we term risk is actually risk, some are actually stupidity, and I believe gambling falls perfectly within that scope. I am all for one using one’s knowledge and expertise to profit oneself (is that not the only sane thing to do?), but when you think because you watch a lot of football you can always predict the happenings in the next football matches, I begin to doubt if you have not been sniffing too much of “drainage dregs”. If a lot of people actually win, the Gambling outfits would have gone into extinction; the percentage of people who actually win is infinitesimal and the probability that “e fit be u” even less infinitesimal. Gambling is meant to fleece the people of their hard-earned cash with the promise of multiplying it for them, but that promise is like a mirage that keeps shifting its position once you get close.

Honestly, I will not pretend to have solutions to the ills I have highlighted above, and thoughts on the way forward will be most-welcome from you, and while I am still waiting, let me go to Nairaland and read some more of the mumbo-jumbo; then take a walk around my neighbourhood and try to hold back the tears at young guys smoking and sniffing their lives away at every junction, while also trying not to laugh at the guys lamenting over missing the 1960Bet Jackpot of six million naira because Chelsea lost to Crystal Palace.

Thank You!
God Bless Us All!!
See You Next Time!!!

Twitter: @SirRash