...OF PARADOXES AND MORE PARADOXES

I have mulled over a befitting title for this post over a million times (I kid, maybe just over a thousand times), and I have not been able to settle on one as at the time I am writing this first sentence. I want to write about something very real and ever-present, and I want to write in my style of fluid narration, with in-depth description/exposition when necessary , all conveyed in a vehicle of subtle humor and satire, with the very serious message in there for all to see and appreciate. I want to pass across a very important message, but without boring you to death or scaring you to hell, I want to sound funny and interesting without coming across as a clown, I want to make people simultaneously laugh and think, and then go out to contribute to making a positive change to themselves and the society afterwards. This is the Paradox of trying to be a Conscientious Writer.

Interestingly, President Buhari, who strode into Aso Rock hailed as the “Uprightest President Ever Liveth” kept the nation guessing and anticipating his Ministerial List for four months. He kept moving back the release date like Davido’s sophomore album. We were all anticipating the “Baddest” List, but when the List finally dropped, it felt like Wizkid’s “Ayo” Album - made up of materials we have not just grown accustomed to, but also tired of, because they have been circulated as “Official Singles” or “Leaked Singles” in countless DJ mixtapes.

In fairness to the President, he defended the eternity it took for the List to be released:

“Fellow Nigerians, there have been a lot of anxiety and impatience over the apparent delay in announcement of ministers. There is no cause to be anxious. Our government set out to do things methodically and properly. We received the handing over notes from the outgoing government only four days before taking over. Consequently, the Joda Transition Committee submitted its Report on the reorganization of Federal Government structure after studying the hand over notes. It would have been haphazard to announce ministers when the government had not finalized the number of ministries to optimally carry the burden of governance.”

In fairness to Nigerians too, it was the President’s handlers, loyalists, and sympathizers who kept inundating us with tales of how the President was scouring the length, breadth and the nethermost parts of Nigeria to unearth untainted and incorruptible androids to work with him in bringing about the much vaunted change; so do not accuse of insatiability when we complain after seeing names like Audu Ogbeh and Rotimi Amaechi on the List. The lesson here is: the APC is now in charge, we need less of propaganda, and more of implementation of policies, this is not hip-hop, so we do not need to roll out the hype-machine and try to sell Wizkid as the new Fela. This is the Paradox of running a Government: it should be less of hip-hop style promotion, and more like whatever else is big, serious, broken, affects a lot of people, and needs fixing... something like Nigeria.

In similar vein, accusations have been leveled against the President that he is running a Gerontocracy. Of course, the accusations are not completely baseless, but we need to look at both sides of the coin here. Nigeria, towards the end of Jonathan’s administration had become rudderless and directionless, we were actually on the verge of an implosion, and most of the ills were brought about by the conscienceless people President Jonathan surrounded himself with. As such, if the new Sheriff in town is only comfortable working with only the people he can vouch for, I think it is understandable, and considering the President is a Septuagenarian, it is only logical most of the people he can personally claim to have close affinity with will be within the age bracket sixty to eighty years. This however presents another conundrum: how will the Youths garner the experience to take over the reins of Leadership in the nearest future? I have heard many “Young Ones” blame the “Old Ones” for how the Youths are today, claiming the erosion of our value system is the fault of those who have been steering the ship of the nation since Independence. I quite agree to a large extent that role models are scarce, but when you look at most of the Youths who have been in positions of authority, you realize they are not different from those they blame. In this blame-game, the “Old Ones” consider the “Young Ones” inexperienced and untrustworthy; while the “Young Ones” believe the “Old Ones” are archaic and immorally-entitled. This is where the Paradox of Leadership in this dispensation emanates: how do the Youths garner experience and enhance their reputation to step up into higher roles if they are not given responsibilities?

Pervasively, there are so many paradoxes around, so many that we have come to fully accept them as normal: we build beautiful cities and then spend more money providing security in the cities than we spend providing education for children in the cities; we have many smart gadgets now, but we cannot say the same about human beings; we drink alcohol both when we are extremely happy and when we are extremely sad, and everytime in-between; we make advances in technology, and we seem to simultaneously take equal giant strides in birthing or unearthing humans who seize the technology to terrorize us all. Maybe this is how our existence is to be: to always pursue happiness but never catch up with it; to always preach love and show apathy or outright hate; to always promise freedom and deliver bondage. I guess this is the Paradox of our Existence which Shakespeare captured succinctly in the first quartet of Sonnet XXXV:

“No more be grieved at that which thou hast done:

Roses have thorns, and silver fountains mud:

Clouds and eclipses stain both moon and sun,

And loathsome canker lives in sweetest bud.”

I think I will simply title this piece “Of Paradoxes and more Paradoxes” and sign out till next time.

Thank You!

God Bless Us All!!

See You Next Time!!!

Twitter: @SirRash

Facebook: Rasheed SirRash Adewusi

Google+: Rasheed Adewusi

INSPIRATION FROM AN UNLIKELY PLACE

I don’t know if you really know your Bible. No, I do not mean whether you are a Christian, or whether you go to Church, I mean, really know your Bible. Well, you don’t have to feel guilty, you are not alone *winks*. Staying on course, let me quickly take you to that part of the Bible, the New Living Translation Version of the Bible, in the book of Job, Chapter 1 Verse 7, Satan went before God:

God: Where have you come from?

Satan: I have been patrolling the earth, watching everything that’s going on.

Now, don’t start getting funny ideas, you are not God, and I am definitely not Satan, but given that it has been ten months since I last showed myself here, you are totally within your rights to ask me “Where have you come from?”, and I am sure the best answer I can give is “I have been patrolling the Earth, watching everything that’s going on.”

Surprisingly, many things have not changed since I was here. You know the way they say the more things change, the more they remain the same, that is exactly the feeling I have right now. Since the last time I trod this path, the PDP has gone from being the Ruling Party to the Opposition Party, but the size of the Government is still huge, the Naira is still reeling, and Boko Haram is still on rampage; the United States and its allies have bombed more terrorist camps with more advanced drones, but insurgency is dishearteningly still waxing stronger and spreading its tentacles across the globe; a lot of us complain about the depth and essence of music and movies being churned out on daily basis, but the bottom just seems to be coming closer to the surface (you must have heard Ladi); and Arsenal have spent about £150m over two years on players, four of them from Real Madrid, Barcelona, Manchester United, and Chelsea, and Arsenal have won three trophies in those two years but the media and opposition fans are still convinced Arsenal is a stingy club, there is just no pleasing the haters I guess; and the Company I “work with” has succeeded in sending most of the “expatriates” either back to their country or to a direct competitor, and have successfully replaced them with Nigerians, but the more things change, the more they remain the same, and sometimes, they even get worse.

However, unlike the bear, I did not just curl into a crevice and go into hibernation (How does a bear actually live with itself after coming out of hibernation, knowing it has just slept away a huge chunk of its life? Has it never heard of sagely sayings like “Life is Short” and “YOLO”?), I have actually been very active networking, building, and nurturing. I am really putting in the shift so that very soon, I will not have to introduce myself again because I would have become “Rich and Famous”, to borrow from Praiz. I get inspired everyday by people all over the world working assiduously to actualize their dreams, but nothing inspires more than when those people are close to home, when you know their stories, you experience their struggles and efforts with them, and you partake in the returns first-hand. There are a lot of dudes and dames out there doing a lot of good, and these more than anyone else have made my blogging-hibernation not torturous. There is JayOsbie, a young man full of ideas with an equal dose of energy and steadily climbing the ladder of success; there is Dawan, one of the most versatile people I have ever met gradually carving a niche for herself; there is SphinxPhoto who turned her hobby into a passion and now money is chasing her;  there is Fagro, my guy who is always so productively busy, Lagos with its perennial traffic jams is antithetical to his dreams; there is Dotun, my cosmopolitan friend striving to light up the world and simultaneously save the planet; there are my friends at work who made the days run by fast despite the stress; and then there is Family who always make me feel blessed beyond words and simultaneously encourage me to strive harder because I owe it to them as a life’s duty to always give them the best in life.

Like a pen, I have to at some point run out, and I think I have reached that point. I leave for today, and I promise not to go into hibernation again, and this is a promise I plan to keep.

Lest I forget, thanks Obums for getting me out of dormancy. Your words reinvigorated and prompted me to write this weekend. I really appreciate.

Thank You!

God Bless Us All!!

See You Next Time!!!

Twitter: @SirRash

Facebook: Rasheed SirRash Adewusi

Google+: Rasheed Adewusi

...OF SAGES, ASPIRING SAGES, AND A WHIRLWIND

In a Rat Race, the eventual winner is still a Rat. – SirRash (An aspiring Sage or something like that)

Gone are the days when you hear the word Sage and you think of Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, Sun Tsu, Lao Tzu, Awo, Zik, Nkrumah, Bob Marley, Baba Fela, and a few others. Today, Sages have become a dime a dozen, and the most annoying are motivational speakers telling everybody that cares to pay to listen that they could be anything they want to be, thus encouraging people who should be busy taking naps for as long as possible to become motivational speakers (continuing the endless vicious cycle) all opening their mouths or punching their keypads terrorising us with their shallow anecdotes, simplistic soundbites,

and one dimensional ideas. The fad right now is to tell people that paid-employment cannot make them wealthy, that they have to float their own start-ups, which is ironical because if these speakers do know the recipe for wealth, why are they not all wealthy yet? I have always been an advocate of diversity, so I will not want to advocate for throwing all motivational speakers in jail, some of them do make sense most of the time, I would rather look on the bright side, they could have been politicians.

Indubitably, only a few things in this world are ever constant: death, but no one knows when or how it will come; and mathematical formulaes, but only a handful of people understand them. One person’s “Road to Redemption” is another’s “Highway to Hell”; some toil to make ends meet whilesome gets things in abundance without even trying. Yes, we must always aspire to improve and increase (not in size or weight), but we have to understand at the same time that we are an ecosystem because of our diversity. And the foregrounding of wealth over everything else puts the human race at risk because it relegates morality/humanity and promotes greed/soullessness. The fact of life is: we all cannot be wealthy, we all cannot be rich, we cannot alleven be comfortable, some people will still be poor. We will all continue to strive to be better, but we do not own all the aces, and no matter what hands we play, we cannot always win. Knowledge and Intelligence are necessary for social mobility, but these are not even readily available to all at the same rate or price. In reality, Fate, Destiny, Grace, and their other metaphysical kins are factors you cannot totally extricate from our lives. Now I think I am in a whirlwind.

The whirlwind is eerily whirling around and forward at a pace faster than the speed of light, but instead of feeling dizzy and puking all over the place I was actually relaxed and I was even penning the next post for my blog (which is now the Number One Blog in the whole world) and mentally composing tweets to troll self-appointed Twitter warlords and narcissistic underscore-abusing Instagram baes. Then an invisible hand gave me a transparent bag which means I did not have to open it to see that it contains all the high-end gadgets in the world - iPhone 10, Samsung S9, Samsung Note 7, Sony Xperia ZX, Blackberry Z100, iPad Invisible, PS8, Xbox5, Google Brain, etc, and they are all my custom-designed complimentary pieces from the manufacturers as a token of their appreciation of my contribution to the design and development. Then, the whirlwind came to a halt and I saw all the rich people in the world, including a senile Birdman and a grotesque Tunechi (they are known as “Old Money Much Money Gazillionaires - OMMMG), sitting at a table and the seat at the head of the table was unoccupied, and immediately they saw me, they all stood and paid obeisance, obviously, I am the richest man on Earth now. Then a contraption which obviously reads mind wheezed me to the head of the table... Actually, I could go on and on, but I think I have reached a point where I need to stop deluding myself and admit that I have come to the end of my writing tethers for today.

Thank You!
God Bless Us All!!
See You Next Time!!!

Twitter: @SirRash
Facebook: Rasheed SirRash Adewusi

Google+: Rasheed Adewusi

POSITIVE RAMBLINGS

When last did I do this, I mean actually post on this blog? It is kind of hazy and fuzzy, but I think it was after Arsenal won the FA Cup. When you consider that after that trophy, the Gunners have gone and won another trophy, and my tummy has grown a few centimetres forward again, you will understand it has been a while. However, you cannot really gauge by that protruding tummy reference because my tummy has this uncanny ability to keep growing bigger irrespective of everything I do to arrest the protrusion – Beer (No), Eat after 6pm (No), Eat once a day (Yes), Sit-ups every morning (Yes), yet tummy keeps protruding. I think I might have to accept it as a sign because a Yoruba Sage called K1 the Ultimate (I think that is what he is still known as because Fuji musicians have this confusing habit of changing their names every time they take time out of the hard work of praising themselves at every paid shows to release an album) advised that “only big-bellied people should be trusted with money”, probably it is a sign that God is about to trust me with plenty money, you know that kind of money that gives wings to dreams, because at the moment, the money I have is the one that decapitates nightmares so it can stay forever.

You know I try as much as possible not to depress you when you come here, I am sure you get that opportunity from many places elsewhere, but it is always difficult because this is Nigeria and we are Nigerians, one good news is always escorted by terrible news like that 16-year-old weightlifter who became an overnight hero with a Commonwealth Gold, but by the morning after became a villain testing positive to a PED, not once but twice. This is Nigeria! The over 200 Girls are yet to be brought back, actually, about 100 boys have been kidnapped after. The Ebola Virus has sashayed into the country and it is happily dancing across the nation; and the Federal Government has chosen this opportune moment to sack all Resident Doctors in all Federal Health Institutions across the country. In fairness to the FG, the Resident Doctors have been residing in their respective homes for some time now, the FG only chose to help them officially ratify the decision to stay at home indefinitely, and that is a no-brainer, isn’t it? Well, Club Football is back and it provides a sort of escapism from the drudgery of my daily life as a Nigerian because how else do you describe my obsession with millionaires who complain when they are not given cakes on their birthday or when someone is trying to pay them a paltry £100,000 per week for chasing a round leather around competitively twice a week.

Thankfully, what is a worthwhile form of escapism is the fact that myself and a few other like-minded pals have decided to form a Book Club which we have impeccably named “Vibrant Minds” through which we can read, share ideas and develop our minds. If you love books like us, you are welcome to join the fold. In the same vein, my very close friend, Debayo Coker of the #Pausiblity fame is working on a compilation of short stories and yours truly has been commissioned (I kid, all the proceeds are going to charity) to contribute. In addition, I have been a regular contributor to Suraj Oyewale’s JarusHub, a career and mentorship website. I have shared all these information so that in case I go AWOL again, do not assume it is laziness or procrastination (still battling this though), just believe I have my hands full working to develop my mind, do something good for the less-privileged, and mentor some younger ones; all these while working full-time with an Indian company currently being led by a crop of ex-Nigerian Bottling Company Managers, guys, you have to give it to me, I dey try.

Thank You!
God Bless Us All!!
See You Next Time!!!

Twitter: @SirRash
Facebook: Rasheed SirRash Adewusi

Google+: Rasheed Adewusi

LETTER TO WENGER 01

Dear Arsene,

It is with joy unbridled and happiness unlimited that I received the news that you have appended your scrawly signature to a new three-year contract, and you will be at the helms of the football affairs of The Arsenal till 2017, and probably beyond, because your style and the vision of Stan Kroenke fit like a mortise to a tenon. I have nurtured the dream of writing you this letter for a very long time, but I needed to be sure you were not ditching the Emirates, because it would be pointless writing to you about a future you had no interest to feature in. As a Gooner for the better part of 16 years, you have been the only Manager I know at my beloved Arsenal, and the thought of another Manager sitting in the front row of the Home Bench at The Emirates still looks hazy to me at the moment.

Actually, I have waited so long to write this letter, but not as long as I have waited to enjoy the kind of feeling I had on Saturday 17th of May when I saw players in Red and White with Victoria Concordia Crescit crested on their badge lifting the FA Cup Trophy aloft in sheer joy and ecstasy. That feeling has been missing for the better part of nine years, and now that it is back, I want it every season like it used to be in the first seven years of my fanship. This is the reason I am writing this open letter to you Le Professeur.

Honestly, Arsenal Football Club will always be grateful to you for what you have done for the Club both on and off the field. You brought your cosmopolitan ways to Arsenal and changed the Club to a consistent contender and a serial winner. Off the field - a new training facility, a new fitness regime, a new diet plan, a lure for continental players, and a new stadium to cap them all were all your ideas. And on the pitch, you ensured the Club remained competitive during years of lean finances despite the infiltration of the English game by filthy money from Russia and later from UAE. Only a fool, like that loquacious creep working for that emotionless Russian Mafioso, will question your position in Club Football. You are one of the few good men remaining in football, but in this age and time, character and attitude off the pitch count for little, only success on the pitch count for much. Moreover, your Legacy, though indubitable in the Arsenal Folklore, will be driven by the Media from the perspective of years of drought; you know bad news is what sells the most.

Objectively, I did understand those periods of lean finances, and unlike that Twitter-follower-whoring, incompetent-at-journalism, BOOM-shouting-only-when-we-score twat, I defended your actions and decisions everywhere I could; but that is now water under the bridge and I want a squad that can stand toe-to-toe with any squad in Europe. At the moment, we have a Very Good Squad but we need at least four more players to turn it into a Great Squad - a competent back-up Goalkeeper, a versatile Centre Back, a Young-Rugged-Skilful Defensive Midfielder, and a Ruthless Striker (an upgrade on Giroud). Let me add that if Vermalaen does leave, we need two Centre Backs considering Sagna, our deendable emergency Centre-Back, will also leave. Being a shrewd spotter of talent, I trust you to buy some known quality or unearth some diamonds in the dirt. Next season, Arsenal will be Challenging, not just Participating, in Four Competitions, therefore, we need a big squad with Depth and Quality. All round quality is what keeps a team together, Fabregas departure to Barcelona was predicated on the dearth of quality in the squad he captained – Almunia in Goal, Senderos at Centre-Back, Song in Central Midfield, and Adebayor as centre Forward - I still get those nightmares occasionally and I tell you, only consistent trophies can fully bring an end to this torture.

In the same vein, a little bit of ruthlessness is needed to have a committed squad. In this age where the average footballer earns far better than Medical Doctors, the least they could do is give consistent committed performances. Any player who could not prove his worth in two seasons should be let go. Being a Father-Figure is all good, but you know not all sons are reliable. Most Professional Footballers are not sons to be groomed and molded into better human beings, they are mercenaries selling their expertise to the highest bidder. They rarely buy into any plan that does not involve them getting hundreds of thousands of Pounds at the end of every week. I know you have hope in human nature, and you believe no one is beyond redemption, but we feel serious hurt when a bumblebee like Song plays well for a season and hurtles off to Barcelona, or the inconsistent Nasri bounced off to Manchester City after a decent half-season, or the sicknote Van Persie ran-off to Manchester United after a fantastic eighteen months which were preceded by six years of being consistently knackered, six years when you always left his space open in the squad to the detriment of the team’s attacking abilities. I know we consider ourselves classy, and we stand by our players in their time of needs, but it is tedious when all we as fans could brag about is Class. Moreover, do players respect Class? Of course, the little boy inside Van Persie does not, neither does the mature hipster inside Alex Song, neither does the mediocre ogre inside Adebayor, nor does the ugly cunt inside Nasri.

On a lighter note, now that you have steered us through the stormy waters of austerity and we have gazillions of cash available to improve the Squad a la all the Partnerships, I hope I can safely assume we will not be seeing signings like the Almunias, the Cygans, the Silvestres, the Andre Santos, the Parks, and the Bendtners who as a butterfly considered himself an eagle; and let me just put it out there, I will buy your autobiography, just solely because I want to know what the signing of Park Chu Young was really all about. As a realist, I know we will not be making signings like Ozil every transfer window, but at least we can add players from the top of the crop or maybe the layer directly below the top, not scraping the base of the bushel as in windows past.

Le Professeur, you lead the famous Gunners with Canons crested on their chests, and we the Gooners have been Loyal (unlike Chris Brown’s Babes), now is the time to bring the Glory Days back! Make the Owners match their Words with Actions! Build a Formidable Squad! Let us bring Victoria Concordia Crescit into play once again! Let The Arsenal become the undisputed Pride of London! Let “Come On You Gunners” not sound hollow and shallow again! Let Trophyless Seasons become Ancient History! And Let Gooners across the Globe regain their Pride of Place in the Court of Bragging Rights!

SirRash (A Gunner to the Bone Marrow)

Thank You!
God Bless Us All!!
See You Next Time!!!

Twitter: @SirRash
Facebook: Rasheed SirRash Adewusi

Google+: Rasheed Adewusi

CHAOS, ORDER, AND MORE CHAOS.

A discussion with some vast and versed friends has resurrected my thinking about Faith, Hope, and Beliefs. If you are a regular reader of this Blog, you will know I am guilty of overthinking atimes, and this period is one of them. However, rather than focus on religious leanings, I would rather journey through the well-worn road of “Chaos and Order”. From Mathematics, to Physics, Chemistry, Biology, Economics, Accounting, Geography, even English Language, the aim is to discover or create “Order” out of the mass of “Chaos” around. But how well are we doing this? Are we really creating “Order” or creating more “Chaos”? Accepting that some events represent “Order” amidst “Chaos”, is it “reality” or “escapism”? Let me try and exemplify my thinking with some real life experiences.

I heard of a Kwara State indigene based in Kano who relocated back to Ilorin due to the Boko Haram Insurgency. Unfortunately, he was killed by armed robbers a week after getting back to Ilorin. Now someone tell me what order is in the chaos of running away from terrorists’ bombs and getting slayed by armed robbers’ bullets in the space of a week? It is in that vein that I also begin to question the relevance of planning and preparation since there are a whole lot of things we have no control over out there. How do you find order within the chaos, when chaos seems to be the order of the day, Nigeria being a perfect example. To go further, how do the families of those countless civilians who have lost their lives in the Boko Haram insurgency find order within the chaos?

I read every day about commendable progress in Science viz-a-viz medicine, engineering, biotechnology, etc and I also read every day about wars, droughts, famine, mishaps, epidemics, etc. Forms of entertainment everywhere from Sports to Music and Movies; Technology is hailed to be making life easier, but Depression and Suicide is on the rise still. Religious Institutions are growing bigger and growing still but it is still behind immorality, corruption, and crime in growth rate. Every time we make progress in one direction, it is nullified by afflictions from three other directions.

I have one friend, and I know you all have that one friend, that one who gets all your jokes, that one who finishes your sentences, that one always singing the lyrics to the song you are humming in your mind, that one who is as financially buoyant or even more financially than you, that one who is always ready to hang out with you at a short notice, that one who is the life of the party, and also that one who always chooses the exact moment when the waiter brings the bill to your table (not when the bill is called for, not when the bill is being compiled, not when the waiter with the bill is fifty meters away, but the exact moment when the waiter brings the bill to your table) to receive a phone call or leave for the restroom. Now this is not much of a chaos, but it is still chaotic. How do you find the order in this?

Sometimes I just feel creating Order out of the Chaos is nothing but Escapism, that as long as the Earth rotates around the Sun and simultaneously rotate on its own axis, Chaos will continue to be the Order of the day and the quest to create Order within the Chaos is as pointless as the last four letters in the word “Queue”, the first letter in the word “Psychology”, and those two other guys in the musical group “Black Eyed Peas”. But like a great sage who I have never known his/her name said “there is no harm in trying”.

Thank You!
God Bless Us All!!



See You Next Time!!!

Twitter: @SirRash
Facebook: Rasheed SirRash Adewusi

THE TRIPLE THREAT

Watching the Comedy Central Roast of Donald Trump, the Queen of Mean, Lisa Lampanelli, talking about a fellow roaster Larry King said “in this business, Larry King is known as a Triple Threat because at anytime he could have a heart attack, have a stroke, or shit his pants.” This got me reeling in laughter every time I watch that particular “Roast”; but this is not the case when I think about the triple threat to the future of the youths of this country, I always struggle to keep back the tears. Stark Illiteracy, Drug Abuse, and Legalized Gambling are the triple threat to the future of the Nigerian youth.

Come on guys, you mean you don’t cry every time you read comments on blogs and websites? The youths cannot keep a conversation going without resorting to ethnic mumbo-jumbo and verbal assaults; and these are usually written in English that is at war with the standards of spelling, grammar, or context, you would think the law has been rewritten to allow everyone determine what the rules of spelling, grammar, and context are. Yes, I know English is not our first language, but how many people can even write in their mother-tongue? Please, do not come to me from that angle. Is it not disheartening that we have so many schools, public and private, from the Primary to the University level, and our youths are still stark illiterates? Most of the Youths cannot keep a logical argument going, they cannot draw conclusive deductions or inference, and they do not read. All the guidance we need in this world is in books, but the youths will not read. Imagine my disgust when Achebe died and I came across some youths who had smartphones and had never heard of Chinua Achebe, come on guys Wikipedia and Google should be bookmarked on every youth’s browser for the nation’s future sake. Most of the time when I see this, I ask myself- are these people normal or are they under the influence of some substances? Maybe!

Substance Abuse is also another threat to the future of the Nigerian Youth. Substance abuse has been around from time immemorial, but it has never been this blatant or pervasive from time immemorial. I remember growing up, anyone who smoked hemp was considered a deviant and anyone who is suspected of taking cocaine or heroin is considered a shame to his/her family. Now, these are considered some of the coolest things to do. Not so long ago, taking a hard drug is considered one of the three axes of ignominy, alongside armed robbery and prostitution. Nowadays, substance abuse is considered a fad of maturity. It is hard to believe that cannabis is an illegal drug because you can always see people smoking them everywhere you turn, and our youths are so creative with its use that they boil and drink it like tea, they also spice their food with it. Yet cannabis is not the worst of the drugs that most youths have become dependent on. Benylin with Codeine is a staple drug for some, while some are slaves to painkillers even when they have not lifted a finger at all. Then comes the creative sniffing of petrol/diesel fumes, sniffing of drainage dregs, and the sniffing of cocaine. Come on people, are you not scared?

Now comes in the cankerworm of Legalized Gambling. I used to remember people pointing at other old people who look as if they have wasted their lives and singling out “pool” as the sole reason why they were never-do-wells. Gambling used to be a vice meant for the demon-possessed and the cursed, but now, it is for everyone. From Government-floated gambling medium like “Lagos Lotto”, to private ones like “Baba Ijebu” to the countless sports-based ones like NairaBet, 1960Bet, Bet9ja, SportsBet, MerryBet, and any other Prefix+Bets you can think of. Gambling is in concordance with the average Nigerian love for the get-rich-quick syndrome, and people will tell you that even life itself is a risk and when nothing is ventured, nothing is gained; but not everything we term risk is actually risk, some are actually stupidity, and I believe gambling falls perfectly within that scope. I am all for one using one’s knowledge and expertise to profit oneself (is that not the only sane thing to do?), but when you think because you watch a lot of football you can always predict the happenings in the next football matches, I begin to doubt if you have not been sniffing too much of “drainage dregs”. If a lot of people actually win, the Gambling outfits would have gone into extinction; the percentage of people who actually win is infinitesimal and the probability that “e fit be u” even less infinitesimal. Gambling is meant to fleece the people of their hard-earned cash with the promise of multiplying it for them, but that promise is like a mirage that keeps shifting its position once you get close.

Honestly, I will not pretend to have solutions to the ills I have highlighted above, and thoughts on the way forward will be most-welcome from you, and while I am still waiting, let me go to Nairaland and read some more of the mumbo-jumbo; then take a walk around my neighbourhood and try to hold back the tears at young guys smoking and sniffing their lives away at every junction, while also trying not to laugh at the guys lamenting over missing the 1960Bet Jackpot of six million naira because Chelsea lost to Crystal Palace.

Thank You!

God Bless Us All!!

See You Next Time!!!

Twitter: @SirRash

Facebook: Rasheed SirRash Adewusi 

A HEARTLESS GOVERNMENT. A TACTLESS PRESIDENT.

HEARTLESS: Listening to the President speak during the last media chat I dare not say my President is stupid. No, no, I dare not. The statement uttered that corruption is not the number one problem of this nation can only come from a head that thinks nothing but ogogoro. I have not seen corruption so pronounced in my years of existence in this country than it is under this ‘transformation agenda”. How can just few people that are employed by us, paid from our collective revenue tell us we are not seeing what they are seeing?’ Ask the Coordinating minister of the Economy’ the President retorted; that is, talk to the Prime Minister, Ms Okonjo-Iweala.

The recent Oduahgate is long expected when many of us did not deem it fit to talk about the shams that are being done at the airport, especially Murtala Muhammed International Airport (MMIA), and we started praising Ms Oduah for her adroitness. Good work my foot. Billions were quoted for the renovations but what do we have to show for it: Leaking roofs, dark passage way to the tarmac, nauseating toilets, I know we all are thanking God that finally our airports are getting the much desired facelift that will make them to be regarded as world standard but in all we are much scammed than served, I think, this time worse than in the past. Billions have gone but our roofs are still leaking. They should have stuck to the earlier claim that Madam is rich enough to buy the armored cars worth 225 million naira from her personal purse, after weeks of noise from Nigerians, we would have swallowed that better. I would not want to talk about the blood sucking vampire in her because how can a reasonable person submit that these excusable air crashes are God’s doing even when we all know that God does not do evil. I am waiting to know the outcome of all the Administrative and Investigative Panels set up to investigate an obvious case of scam that the blind-cum-imbecile could even attest to. Anyway, it is typical of this government’s Transformation Agenda for billions to get missing and not a single pulled off the perpetrators. Oil Subsidy Scam is a current and will be a recurrent example. SURE-P is another, I wonder how Baba Christopher Kolade allowed himself to be so used in this regards. Baba!

They said we are not broke as a nation but only having issues with Cash Flow. Madam Prime Minister, I don’t get. Why do some people try as much as possible to present black as white? Aunty, it is obvious we are in a mess as it has been obviously stated by the Governor of Central Bank and Governors of some states as they said never have their allocation been so delayed and deducted like under the present dispensation.

We have accusations and counter-accusations. The economy is affected by about 400,000 barrels of oil being stolen everyday by oil thieves. One would wonder if the NNPC and the almighty Minister of Petroleum could give us an estimation of barrels of oil being stolen, how come we do not even have an estimate of oil that is legally being taken out of our wells to be refined in other countries. I have searched records I have not found such account anywhere. Please, if anyone has it, I will be glad to have a copy. I looked with so much anger as Ms Diezani fondled herself in front of millions of Nigerians, dipping her arm inside of her blouse and caressing herself during the Subsidy Regime Investigation Panel in the National Assembly and I asked what happened to decency? Was she practically telling the men or whoever on that panel ”let me go free and I service you free”? That attitude could only come from a whore, and that kind of buttresses the insinuations of the great services she renders to Mr President which makes her untouchable.

Promises upon promises but this government is never ready to deliver on anyone of them. Our universities have practically been comatose for months due to the government irresponsibly reneging on the agreement entered into by ASUU and the Federal Government in 2009. “LET YOUR YEA BE YEA IN ALL YOUR DEALINGS WITH ONE ANOTHER”, so says the Bible and one would have believed that after a return from Israel the President would have thought to act in line with the admonition of the Bible in dealing with people. The President, rather than honour agreement, foot-dragged to the point where a life was lost in the bid to finally resolve the crisis, a life taken by a government vehicle, on a road neglected by the government. Professor Iyayi, God bless his soul, paid the ultimate price.

TACTLESS:  Governors have been deified, the G7 Governors most especially. Take Amaechi for instance, he has become more popular than he was before the President picked on him wanting to make him a scapegoat but like the story of the donkey that fell into the well and refused to die shaking off the pieces of earth meant to bury him and turning such to make steps that brought him out of the well. Such is the case of Amaechi. He has used the media so well making him to be seen and read by all and sundry even in the remotest parts of the country and the world at large. I wonder what the aides of the President do. Any student of politics will know that sometimes in politics you court the friendship of your purported enemies in order to drown their popularity. Obasanjo Vs Tinubu and Obansanjo Vs Osoba should be case studies for them. I am using recent events so that the President’s aides will see themselves for the inept clowns they are. In the former, Obasanjo refused to give Tinubu, an opposition Governor, the allocation due to Lagos state on the premise that Lagos state created more local governments than enshrined in the constitution, the intention was to muscle and starve Lagos state of her allocation believing the state will not be able to perform well enough to be credible enough to win the next election so that the almighty PDP will take over the state. Tinubu being a tactful politician sourced funds internally and he left a mark that stands him out, such that even till today Lagos state has become a model for Internally Generated Revenue (IGR) that other states in the country look up to, inadvertently making Tinubu a godfather. Rather than Tinubu going into oblivion, Obasanjo’s muscle made him to realize his potentials to go beyond the ordinary. Today, Bola is a political superhero, take it or leave it.

On the other hand, during the 2003 Gubernatorial Election, Ogun state, the homestate of Obasanjo needed to be “captured” by all means to give the sitting President, Obasanjo, the credit of delivering his state to his party. Obasanjo devised what I call “eat from the same pot but poison the enemy” tactics. He went to Ogun state on the day of the election, invited his brother, Osoba, to his home, they ate, chatted and played the game of draft while the election was ongoing. That is, Obasanjo courted Osoba’s friendship and doused his vigour on the day of the election so that he won’t be able to make any last minute moves he might have had up his sleeves.

These current President’s aides are not even trying to rescue their boss’ image from the pit of incompetence where it is currently wallowing. They are making him look so incapable of playing the politics that is expected of him. The years of “wet e” politics are long passed. What is happening in Rivers state is just making Amaechi more prominent because he is not coming back for a re-election so he has nothing to lose in a way but it would have been a plus for the President if he has one more friend in Amaechi. Muscle does not beget friendship especially when you are playing this game called POLITIK.

 

Ms Okonjo-Iweala, when she came during Obasanjo’s government, helped in negotiating many deals that took us out of our deficit quagmire, but lately I do not think this Madame Prime Minister is doing what is right. She is the only one seeing that the economy is good even when her brother in CBN is saying otherwise. Kudos should be given to Obasanjo, though he is a man fraught with  faults, he should however be commended for standing his ground by not allowing anyone to come with CVs to intimidate him and today it is obvious that he himself did some brain work , I think more because he had shoes when he was in the military so nothing must have entered into his system to have gone to affect his thinking to believe that once you have a CV that reads IMF, AFDB, and some numerate skills that do not translate to obvious developments and growth of the common man, then you should be taken as the almighty even when you yourself claimed to have a PhD.

I will urge the President’s aides to let him know that one does not cut a red tape at the foundation laying of a house, but until such a building is completed; one does not talk from both sides of the mouth, such will betray one’s mental acumen when as a sitting President you respond “I don’t give a damn” on national television to an issue bordering on national malaise. They need to arrange his schedule to allow him do some reading and get him books on topical issues bothering on nation building because it is demeaning for the office of the President to refer questions on job creation and national growth to a private individual. “Dangote has said he will help us….”

Please let the President do more brainwork that will translate to national development so that he can salvage his present sorry records.  The world is a civil place where election and re-election is based on records and achievements respectively. And I must confess that people are wiser and will not fall for I HAD NO SHOES the second time.

ADEBAYO COKER

https://www.facebook.com/LeonineRex

bacojay@ymail.com

A VIP'S EXPERIENCE AT A GVIP EVENT

Well, if I have to come back after three months of going AWOL, I might as well come back with a big bang *KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM* That’s the big bang right there… Hahahaha *just kidding*
 

The Big Bang is no other thing than the masterclass of an event I was extremely lucky to have attended on the 3rd of November. It was the #ColourfulWorldOfMore Concert organized by Guinness Nigeria. My oh my, that was a Concert!!! In Nigeria, as it is in most places in the world, knowing the right people in the right places will give you access to the right things at the right time…  all I am saying is I got VIP tickets to the Concert – I am just saying, bragging not intended, but if bragging achieved, all well and good. If you are into entertainment and the publicity as well as the promotion of the Concert did not make you want to kill for the tickets, you need to reassess your priorities. All media outlets (both conventional and new) were awash with the news of the “MostColourful Concert of the Year”, and every time I saw the names TuFace, DBanj, Olamide, P-Square, Ice Prince, Wizkid, Davido, Burna Boy, Phyno, Chidinma, Flavour, Waje, Tiwa Savage as on the line-up, and DJ Xclusive and DJ Neptunes on the wheels-of-steel and MC Bovi planning to crack our ribs, I knew I just had to get myself tagged, and that was exactly what I did in a VIP way *grins*

Excitedly, Wifey and I graced the occasion and it was an evening of undiluted fun sitting up there in the VIP area munching on our small chops and drinking Malta and Stout (all complimentary for VIPs if you know what I mean), and enjoying a panoramic view of the magnificent stage. Now, let us get down to the matter: the stage lightning, the giant screens, the announcement of the artistes, the ambience, the ticketing, and crowd control was simply world class. Of course, there were issues around crowd control, but that was because some people had no tickets yet they left their houses for the venue, and some people had regular tickets yet they wanted to get into the Hall through the entrance reserved for VIPs and VVIPs. Aside some people losing their phones and wallets in the pushing and shoving at the gates, of which you cannot really blame Guinness, everything else worked like clockwork.
 

Now to the reason we all went there- the Performances. If I forget to mention any of the artistes that actually performed on the night, that is because I cannot remember anything from the performance, so you cannot blame that on me. Olamide was his usual Baddo self, and the rapturous applause he got coming out on stage and later leaving the stage was attestation to the fact that he is the rave of the moment. Ice Prince had stage presence and enough hits to keep the crowd yelling all through his performance, and I believe that his performance of the “VIP” track was specially dedicated to me on the night.  Flavour, Phyno and Burna’s performances were also very energetic and they were able to sustain the tempo all through. Starboy himself was at his crowd-pleasing best, reeling out songs after songs from his list of hits. Davido was daring with his choice of a live-band, and that made his performance shaky at the beginning, but he took control later and wowed the crowd without passing up the opportunity of showing that he is the Omo Baba Olowo by promising $1000 to anyone who could dance Skelewu best. DBanj also showed why is regarded as the No1 performer among the Naija new school of artistes. His mastery of the live band was second to none, and his crowd-engagement was top-notch. His performance was arguably the best of the night. The dynamic duo better known as P-Square also gave a performance worthy of a finale thrilling the crowd with a host of hits from their repertoire, throwing in dance jigs from the simple to the complex, and engaging the crowd all through. Personally, with the artistes performing as if they were auditioning, you couldn’t have asked for more from the performances. Even the absence of TuFace Idibia could not take away from the awesomeness of the night.

Nevertheless, I felt a “colour” was out of place on the night. Before I go further, let me confess that sometimes I overthink. Overthinking is actually one of the reasons why I do not frequently post on this blog; I write, then I start questioning if it is good enough, if it will be worth the readers’ time, if it is discussing a relevant issue, if my perspective is original and sensible, if the issue has not already been dissected enough by others, if it is well written at all, if it is an improvement on previous posts or if standards have dropped, if… Actually, if there is a Club for over-thinkers, I will definitely be the face. Moreso, I work in an industry where colours are more foregrounded than the name of the company, such that “Yellow Boys” and “Green Boys” come up during meetings more than “MTN” and “GLO”. So when I saw Burna Boy donning a light blue blazers and WizKid decked in a light blue two-piece suit at a “Guinness” concert, my alarm just went off beeping “NOT RIGHT! NOT RIGHT!! NOT RIGHT!!!” To put this into better perspective, Guinness Nigeria’s major competitor in the Alcoholic Beverages Industry (and that is a helluva competitive industry) is “Nigerian Breweries” whose dominant colour is “light blue”, and when you consider that WizKid has made a track (Let’s Get The Party STARted) together with some other Nigerian artistes for the promotion of Star Lager (Nigerian Breweries’ flagship brand), you might start seeing a conspiracy. Of course, artistes are independent entertainers who peddle their talents to whoever has the means to meet their demands, but there are also standards that should be upheld because it is a trade, sometimes the artistes do not know, so it is up to organisers to intimate them of the least acceptable standards. Huge resources go into a public relations event like that concert and it had to be milked for all the benefits therein, allowing artistes who are also on the payroll of a competitor wear a competitor’s colour to your event is one oversight too many. But you should not forget that I hold a Ph.D in “Overthinking”, and for all it is worth I might be the only one at the Concert who noticed and attached any significance to the colour.

Seriously, I have heard some people after the Concert questioning why almost all of our artistes could not perform with a live band; as much as I share this sentiment, I would not use that yardstick as a measurement here because I am sure no one left their house for this particular concert expecting the artistes to perform with live bands. Of course, I would love to see artistes do more than miming while on stage, but I think it is hypocritical of us to demand such when Wizkid still sells more album than Beautiful Nubia, performs at more shows in Nigerian than Asa, and enjoys more airplay than Lagbaja.

Interestingly, as it is my nature to always make every experience educational, I must not end this post without sharing some of my learnings from the event - I saw some of the latest trends in fashion, I found out that any skirt/gown which is longer than 7 inches below the waist is not trendy; I also found out that any shoe which allows the wearer to walk comfortably is fashion no-no for the ladies; I equally found out that for the guys, it is not "sagging" unless the waist of the jeans is right above the knees; and finally, I found out that if you consider all these fads surprising, then you are definitely old-school. Really?! I am already old-school?!

Thank You!

God Bless Us All!!

See You Next Time!!!

 

Twitter: @SirRash

Facebook: Rasheed SirRash Adewusi

KISSING-AND-TELLING IN HIGH PLACES

I know! I know!! I know!!!

I did promise I would not disappear again, but I only went and reenacted my own remake of “Gone With The Wind”. I apologise again, and as my people say, it is this hill here that blocks my view of the hill over there; therefore I have put structures in place to ensure the hill over there will be bigger than the hill here to counter-balance the view-blocking, hopefully. But it has been good news all this while: between the last time I was here and now, I have become both a HUSBAND and a FATHER. That might imply I have more and bigger responsibilities, which might also mean lesser time for blogging (obviously, I have less time for blogging already), but that might also imply I have more time (finding something else to occupy my time when Wifey and Mothers have taken over the TV and the Remote), let us just wait and see. #FingersCrossed

Now to the question that jolted me out of my blogging-inertia – kissing and telling, why do people do it? Personally, I believe whatever a man and a woman do together behind closed doors, as long as it is consensual, should remain locked behind doors, I mean no one has to see or hear it. Naturally, the participants do not have to tell us, and we do not want to know; but going by Ese Walters’ piece which I have taken the creative liberty to retitle “An Epistle on Self-Inflicted Pastor Abuse”, and the visibility the said piece has been accorded in cyberspace, it seems I am the only one on the queue waiting to board the bus to “I-Dont-Care-If-You-Kiss-And-Tell-Land”.

Kidding aside, I would not have been riled if people had just left comments like “LOL”, “LOOOOOOL”, “LMFAO”, “ROTFLMAO”, etc but seeing people swallow the bait of “abuse” and hailing her like a modern day Joan d’Arc really got me pissed off. Come on folks, this babe deserves nothing but the Bradley Manning treatment. Someone please explain to me how Ese Walters was abused in that story? Don’t get me wrong please, I am wont to believe her story, partly because I consider most of the so called men of God, or are they gods of men, as frauds; and mostly because I know stuffs like that go down in many places where people dress to kill, talk to be noticed, walk to be assessed, spend to impress, and act to outdo everyone else - church atmosphere nowadays is just like a party without the alcohol and tobacco. I am not going to try and paint anyone as wrong or right in the prelude to how the two of them ended up under the sheets, but for Ese to start crying “abuse” afterwards is beyond hypocritical to me. If you have placed someone on such a pedestal that you collapse when they blow air in your face, would you not be mumbling like a baby’s toy with a bad battery when you start crying foul when they have consensual sex with you? I don’t think I need any level of grace to label Ese Walter a CHARLATAN. I am not saying Ese Walters is right or wrong; neither am I saying Biodun Fatoyinbo is wrong or right, but the word “abuse” is a blatant misnomer in that story..

More disheartening is that even in the realm of politics and the discussion of national unity, we cannot seem to escape the kiss-and-tell merchants. If I ask the pertinent question: how do we unify Nigeria? I bet the majority will mention football, music, and good governance. But according to Femi Fani-Kayode, the solution is quite simpler than that – Let us all have "long-standing and intimate relationships" (innuendo caught FFK, well done) with as many people from all the other tribes as possible; that way, we (Nigerians) would all have become detribalized. We all know one of the major problems with Nigeria is ethnicity/tribalism, and if as a public figure you are accused of being ethnocentric, I am wholly behind you when you go all out to defend yourself. Such was the case for Femi Fani-Kayode whose seldom-rational but always-scathing expositions have brought the tag of “a tribalist” on him. In refuting the tag, FFK reeled out names of three women of Igbo extraction whom he has had "long-standing and intimate relationships" with and concluded that those sexual relationships definitely exonerate him from being labelled a tribalist. I am sorry FFK, you might not be a tribalist, but you are definitely a scummy and uncouth specimen of a lesser animal than a human being. You are nothing but another idiotic kiss-and-tell goat. How could you embarrass women you had consensual sex with like that? Seriously??!! That was the only route you could ply to redemption?? Of course, he did some damage limitation by coming out with an apology; but someone really needs to plank this clown on the head; maybe his brain might be realigned and he would start thinking before talking.

I think I have ranted enough for one post. I hope to be back very soon, but just in case I disappear, you can simply assume I have taken it upon myself to embark on a journey to unify Nigeria the FFK way. I need to “know” –I mean know in the Biblical usage- at least one babe from every tribe in Nigeria. You bet that is not an easy task; from every nook to every cranny of Nigeria I need to fish out women to roll in the hay with, and by the end of my sojourn, I alone standing would have become a detribalized Nigerian and an epitome of inter-tribal unification. Someone really needs to plank my head too from the four cardinal points.