HOPE 2000 - MY JAMB STORY
Hope 2000 will be hazy, like watching only Part 7 of a 10-Part
Nollywood movie (watching the whole Parts from 1 – 10 wouldn’t clear the haze
anyway), unless I take you down memory lane. Strap yourself up and let’s get
ready to roll!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Without trying to sound like a Naija artiste, I have always
been brilliant from time immemorial; my mum actually told me I used to
practically explain to her things that transpired when I was still in the womb.
But like Kryptonite to Superman, Mathematics was my one weakness. I cannot
remember when the problem actually started but it must have been sometime in JSS2
when Mr Komolafe, that confusionist of a Mathematics teacher, started combining
letters and figures and asking us to repeatedly “find x” without telling us
what he did with the one we found the day before. How can people spend their
whole life “finding x and y” when there is a whole lot of real life waiting to
be explored? Sadly, that sums up my problem with Mathematics – I could not
relate it to real life! Add that to having to cram Elements and their Symbols, and
the realization that I would have to read, understand, and remember textbooks
such as Ababio, Harwood Clarke and Modern Biology, and I conveniently dodged
the Science Class to the chagrin of the school Principal who believed any
student who scored 10As and 2Cs (Mathematics and Integrated Science of course)
like I did in JSCE had no business in any other class except Science.
Fast forward three years and I finished secondary school as one of the best students in Methodist
High School which also happened to be one of the best schools in Ogun State, so
we can say all was well that ended well. But, I had P7 in Mathematics. And here
I was with the hope of being a Chartered Accountant (my rich Chartered
Accountant uncle was my role-model). My dad, collaborated with some of my uncles
and they came up with a song titled “Go and Read Law”… another bout of cramming???
Olorun maje!!! I quickly devised a
plan: I would choose a UME combination that would qualify for any course but
Law. I eventually chose CRK, Literature-in-English, and Yoruba. Yes, you read
right – Yoruba. I prepared for the exam the way I used to prepare to go toast a
babe. I read the whole Bible, read the recommended eight texts each for both
Yoruba and Literature even though I had the option of choosing only four each,
and I read all the poems too.
D-Day came and I left home feeling as confident as an agbero after an early morning dose of jogodo and paraga. I was fully prepared and I was not afraid, why would I be
afraid of UME? The fact that I even knew I had prepared for UME unlike others
who had prepared for JAMB was a strong conviction that my name and photo would
be on the back page of the next brochure. I got to my Centre in Akoka, located
my seat, placed my 3 pencils, 2 erasers, and 2 razors on the table awaiting the
invigilators with the question papers. The papers eventually came and it should
not come as a surprise to you that my combination was not available, I am sure
JAMB had never had to deal with such a combination before. But they looked for
them in pieces and provided my meal which I had been salivating to devour. But
the real surprise was seeing the answer script and having to shade the type of
question paper, that was when everybody realized they had different types of
question papers ranging from S to A, L, I and M in honour of SALIM Ahmed Salim,
the then JAMB Registrar. Come see Kasala!
That was when I knew preparation was of two kinds, while I was doing last
minute reading from Keypoints,
others were doing last minute expo-sourcing. Proximity to UNILAG had made the
centre to be a haven for “machineries”
who came, collected money from most of the candidates and sold them confirmed expo. Everybody had come in with the
same expo, but here are different
questions grinning at them. That was how the whole centre scattered with people
shouting, chasing and dragging, the invigilators were not spared because they
already got their shares to look away. Police had to come in before the
examination could continue. Despite the unscripted drama, I was still able to
pour everything I had swallowed and went home feeling sanguine.
The results were released about two months later and I am
still sad to inform you my result was CANCELLED along with the whole centre’s
result. HOPE 2000, just like MKO’s Hope’93!!!
Thank You!
God Bless Us All!!
See You Next Time!!!
NB: This is an entry I submitted for a competition last month.
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